Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
