Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
