Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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