big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So much Jack, so little girl.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
