"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
