Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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