Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize