She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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