We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
