she woke up with a sticky ear
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
