The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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