There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
