He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
