wakey wakey hands off snakey
where am i from again
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
