just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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