he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
