Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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