do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
