i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize