Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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