He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
