I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
