Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize