Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
