let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
