Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
