I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
