It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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