On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
