Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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