if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
