just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
