garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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