it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
