It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
last night I used snow as a chaser
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
