we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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