I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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