Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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