If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
