Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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