"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
