Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
well you can't waste a boner
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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