He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk is a universal language darling
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
