He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
