so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
