I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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