I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
