I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
