Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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