New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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