i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize