How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
