no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
