is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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