Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
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the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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