my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I lost the right to judge tonight
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
