do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize