then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
