Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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