I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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