you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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