Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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